Finally setup my vanity in the other half of my office. I used to sit at my vanity everyday and put on makeup. Moisturize, eyebrows, eyeshadow, mascara, concealer, foundation, finishing spray, lipgloss. I used to dress up my outside but it never matched my inside. I smiled for a selfie, accepted praise for being pretty, and felt ugly the entire time. I listened but I didn’t believe it. I sat here today for 45 minutes staring at palettes and brushes I haven’t touched in months until the sun went down. I couldn’t get past the emptiness to pretend to be pretty today, not even for myself. I miss the old Monica. I really do.