Living Amongst The Chaos

by Upenzi
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Okay so I’ve definitely been slacking on keeping up with this blog.  It seems that no matter how many times I promise myself (and whoever is still here reading….thanks btw) that I will post twice a week, it literally ends up being every other month. You can almost time my mental breakdowns by the way I post.  Which if you pay close attention, might be a good thing right now since it’s been over a month since my last post.  I’m still dented, but not broken. I’m sort of wavering through the days trying to remain positive, shutdown when I need to and not allow anything to slay my vibe.

It helps that I’m also working on hella shit right now. I’ve got most of my focus into rebranding my business.  It’s been almost 6 years since the official brand launched and while it’s grown so much, but it’s just not quite what I want it to be anymore. When I started, I had a partnership I was building with a relative that I don’t even talk to anymore, which is what kind of forced me to just go for it alone.  And it’s been one hell of a bumpy ride for nearly 6 years.  I love what I do, and am definitely never ever going to stop. But I can’t grow if I don’t change, and a I can’t change if I don’t grow. I’ve come to the realization that I could really accomplish so much more if I had a small collective of dope-ness on board. I get asked to do things I could do, but don’t have time to do. I mean, I technically have three whole jobs: Monica Made It, my full-time at the “chimp” place that I won’t mention because we’re not hiring, and raising my sixteen year old.  Speaking of which, I am not ready! He has a beard that seems to get a little longer every morning, he wants to get a job, learn how to drive and move back to California. Boy stop! Please.

All I want to do is BE. You already know that’s my ultimate goal in life…I want to BE everything I want and more and just BE happy, in love, stress free, with an abundance of accessible money in my bank account and plenty of stamps on my passport.  See, I’m simple *wink* Life has been pretty good to me over the last month, I can’t even lie. There are those moments when I second guess a lot and over think, but I guess old habits die hard.  I’m learning to be more optimistic and watch what I say out loud. If there’s one thing I have learned in the last 3 years of chaos and confusion…WORDS HAVE POWER. The universe is never too busy to push some shit your direction that you didn’t even realize you really truly asked for. I pray all is well for those of you still visiting as well.  Til next time…

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