Crank Dat Bullshit!

by Love Upenzi

I love I really really do.  I am so disappointed with the way music has changed the last few years.  Not only am I disappointed with the way things have changed for the worst, I’m pissed at the exec’s who keep giving these muthafuckas deals.  And YouTube for giving them an outlet to plug this noise.  Those are the bastards I’d like to set fire to. I’m raising a young black king who is influential at this age.  Occasionally I hear him sing something real ignorant and I just wanna beat the bricks off of him.  But I digress and ask him to refrain from singing it around me.  OMG it’s getting crazy tho.  He walks around in his sweat pants sagging under his ass with his legs gapped wide to keep them up and he says he’s a rapper “watch me youuuuu’ll”What the fuck does that mean anyway?

Before I hit the sack last night, I was in my usual Yahoo Chat with my fat friends (Munch Munch Munch) and my buddy Glen sent a video for us to look at.  I wasn’t going to watch at all when he said they were from Atlanta and representing my city all fucked up.  But I watched anyway.  “Crank Dat Drunk Man“.  GTFOH!!! & if you don’t know what that means… GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!! I was thoroughly annoyed.  I was mad at the tackiness, them black ass knees, then cheap ass buy on get one free wigs and stop putting Barack Obama shirts in these wack videos.  Ya’ll makin us look bad!! What has the world come to?  Everybody is crankin that bullshit!!  I so hope that by the time my son becomes a teenager (in exactly 10 years) that music goes back to what it use to be.  Cause this is straight up noise and ignorant as fuck!

SMH at the pure fuckery crankin on YouTube:

Crank Dat * Crank Dat Roy * Crank Dat Batman * Crank Dat Yank * Crank Dat Homeless Man * Crank Dat Lion King * Crank Dat Scooby Doo * Crank Dat Sponge Bob * Crank Dat Forrest Gump * Crank Dat Spydaman * Crank Dat White Boy * Crank Dat KKK * Crank Dat Army Boy * Crank Dat Pretty Boy * Crank Dat Naija Boy * Crank Dat Watcha Call It * Crank Dat Urkel * Crank Dat Carlton Banks * Crank Dat Roosevelt * Crank Dat Robocop * Crank Dat Harry Potter * Crank Dat Boogie Man * Crank Dat Santa Clause * Crank Dat Jugganaut * Crank Dat Michael Jackson WOW!

Ok I can’t take it no more….There are too many to list. SMH


Leave a Comment


rae October 19, 2008 - 11:22 am

girl i know what you mean. worst of all, i hate the people seriously following the “crank dat” trend & they jump on it like its the hottest band wagon around! especially that crank dat michael jackson -smh-

upenzi October 19, 2008 - 11:26 am

omg!!! i just linked that one too. that was just STUPID!!!!!

Jessica October 19, 2008 - 11:27 am

i feel he exact same way. i didnt even know half of those “crank dat…” dances exised. i just saw on for “crank dat whatcha call it.” and souljah boy is at it again with that damn bird walk dance. nooooooooooo! but in all honsety he’s getting paid. i need to jump on the bandwagon and come up with a catchy sound/word, make a dance to it, and upload it to youtube. lol im sure, no mater how simple, it will catch on.

upenzi October 19, 2008 - 11:31 am

fa real tho right!!! i’m thinking about making one called “crank dat fat girl” lmao!!!!! i’ma gather me some friends up and do that shit and see what happens

alpha.phemale October 19, 2008 - 11:38 am

i am so glad you are teaching your son not to pay attention to this garbage. whatever happened to teaching our kids to read so they can expand their vocabulary?! i agree with jessica, soulja boy is getting paid but look at who is buying the music,young people. i hope they don’t think that is real hip/hop or even rap. i’m used to nwa . onyx . rakim . scareface . ugk . outkast . those people. ms.upenzi, wanna do a crank dat upenzi for your site?! lol,j/k.

upenzi October 19, 2008 - 12:06 pm

thats what im so afraid of! i’m so scared that these young people with think this is music and this form of dysfunction will take over the airwaves much like it has the internet. i mean its all in fun but alot of them think this is hot! i’m like please don’t kill music off like this. lol!!

oo..crank that upenzi…*jots that down on the list of ideas* heehee

Nicole October 19, 2008 - 11:51 am

It isn’t even about music anymore. It’s all about fame and exposure and being seen.

How many crank that’s can you make???

Nicoles last blog post..Best week so far!

upenzi October 19, 2008 - 12:07 pm

i know right! cause if you listen to it…it’s just bullshit. hell…even soulja boy’s was a “wtf” i still don’t know what the hell he talkin about.

alpha.phemale October 19, 2008 - 12:59 pm

it is all i fun but dang someone got to know when to say UNCLE [thats a southern term for stop as well as old school slang]. i dont think soulja boy know what he talking about lol. yeah when i get the lyrics upenzie,ill email them to you lol.

upenzi October 19, 2008 - 1:07 pm

lmao!! you said “uncle” lawd ham mercy i aint heard that in years!!!!!!!! lol

Glenn October 20, 2008 - 2:52 am

Penzi I see u forgot crank that spider pig lol

upenzi October 20, 2008 - 8:57 am

oh hell to the naw!!! thats some serious bullshit right there lmao!!!!!!!!!

Tai October 20, 2008 - 5:21 am

I am not a Soujla Boy fan either, but some of his songs are aite – its nothing I would go around singin/rappin to. I am more of a laid back kind of person – I like the slow stuff, sex songs. Soulja Boy is more in the kids category and I believe he will continue be when he turns 22. Shrugs. IDK.

upenzi October 20, 2008 - 8:57 am

i have to admit…i kinda like the “i got me some bathing apes” song 🙁

beaute October 22, 2008 - 9:34 pm said it best PURE FUCKERY!

beautes last blog post..Yay?[edited]

Daniel Chege November 6, 2008 - 9:35 am

Hello Upenzi :

I think your name is beautiful and probably you know what it means … Its a Swahili word for “LOVE ” … I am from Kenya and I speak swahili as well.

Anywayz, I am a music producer and a web designer and your site looks lovely.

You can take time to listen to some of my music here : and tell me what you think.




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