Wellness

Of all the things I’ve been through in life, nothing ever prepared me for these moments of worry and fear. I’ve never been this afraid of anything ever in life, not even clowns. Okay, I take that back, maybe the clowns. But like most people, cancer brings about a fear and concern for life and purpose that you never even realized you had.  It’s been 2 years of testing every three months, medication that thins my hair in the weirdest places, dries my skin, gives me stomach aches every day, makes me nauseous at the smell of food, yet keeps me hungry all the time, drains me of all my…

Welp, I tried not to be typical and say the same basic thing I say every year about losing weight as a new year resolution, but I’m seriously over the chunk.  I don’t want to be Chunky Moe anymore, I need the chunk gone ASAP. I wonder how many people have been following me long enough to remember when I was known as ChunkyMoe? Since last summer I slowly started gaining weight again.  I barely eat and yet I’ve been gaining weight since mid July.  I thought it might had had something to do with my Mirena birth control because I was experiencing some other side effects that only started…

I’m good for a while.  I’ll talk more, laugh more, sleep and eat normally. But then something happens, like a switch turns off somewhere and I shutdown. I am left with this darkness of my mind that I can’t explain.  But each time it seems like I sink deeper and deeper.  I’m scared.  Terrified that one day I won’t make it back up.  I feel like I’m gasping for air that I don’t even want. On a thin like from getting up and falling back down.  So I sit.  Sometimes in silence, sometimes in tears, every time alone.

Jeremiah 29:11 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. This scripture was posted in a comment on my previous post by Karen.  It’s amazing how God is always working on you because I was literally just standing outside puffing my electronic cigarette, quietly praying that things that I’m working on work out in my favor.  I’m trying to do so many things right now that I’ve literally been worrying myself silly.  I haven’t slept much the past few days.  And I’m nauseated with fear.  2012 was such a…

I’m trying so hard to get under my first major goal weight but I can’t seem to do it.  I take that back, I WILL do it because I’m a loser, not a gainer.  Last night I hit the gym for the first time in over a week.  I walked the treadmill for 35 minutes: 1.6 Miles, 160 Calories Burned.  Then I came home and did some upper body & love handle workouts. I have also been doing the Jillian Micheals: 30 Day Shred.  I finished level one last week but haven’t started level two yet.  I got side tracked when Miss Red came to town.  Now that she’s gone…

I clearly forgot to blog about my new birthday in all of the excitement of last week. I finally got the call to schedule my surgery. I’m calling it my new birthday because its the day I will be reborn into a totally different life. I’m excited and nervous all at the same time. I’m planning to start hitting the gym this weekend and develop a steady workout to reduce the chances of having flabby skin and more pain later on down the line.  :blush: On 07.14 I start my liquid diet.  This diet is guaranteed to lose 10 lbs before surgery.  It’s also used as a flush to clean…

I’ve been working from home going on 2 months now. I must say, I absolutely love my freedom to focus on my projects and spend more time with my son. However, working from home has one “perk” that I just can’t see to get adjusted to. I am up at all hours of the night watching tv and clicking around on my computer. I know it’s bad when I find myself watching the most random movies ever. For example, for the past hour I have been watching “Bye Bye Birdie” like this: 🙄 . Movies with musicals are hilariously tacky. And this shit is corny as hell! Why the fuck…

I woke up today not expecting anything other then working a couple of hours and getting some design business handled. I worked my 2 hours and prepared to chill for the day. Then, I finally got the call I have been waiting for. A call that will literally change my life. I was approved for weight loss surgery. I was so excited I couldn’t even cry happy tears. All I could so was sit and stare out of my window wondering what my new life will be like. I was on the phone with my cousin, who by the way has been extremely supportive of my decision. ❤  Most of…

Tomorrow I finally have surgery on my hernia. For those that don’t know, 6 years ago when I was pregnant with my son I sat up in the bed pretty fast and popped a muscle in my stomach. I literally heard it and felt it but it didn’t hurt at all. It was just kind of like “Oh, that’s not good”. I was HUGE when I was pregnant and thought maybe Kimoni just pushed something outta place. Last year I told a friend about the round spot in my belly and she told me it sounded like a hernia. After lots of research and calling the advise nurse several times,…

I haven’t blogged in a few days. Okay more like a week seeing as how today is Thursday. I guess I really just haven’t been doing anything too blog worthy. I know most of you think I’m this super duper exciting ass person…but I’m just a regular bitch. :sweat: The last few days have just been really boring. I did however start designing a revamped version of another website. So the creative juices were live and in effect up until yesterday when I suddenly got drained out. Too much was going on yesterday for me to fully focus. So…sorry I haven’t been around much. I’m just trying to maintain. In…