I stopped celebrating Christmas 2 years ago. I mean, I will still accept gifts, and even give them. But I’m not putting up a tree, buying decorations, or breaking out the dancing Santa anytime soon. Someone stole my Christmas joy 2 years ago with what I now feel is the truth about this holiday, in case you’re curious, click here. Don’t blame me, I’m just sharing what was shared with me. Anyway, so no Christmas in the ______ household. I instead opted to enjoy time with my son, mom and sister yesterday instead of today. We had a pretty awesome time playing Watch Ya Mouth and eating my infamous seafood gumbo…from scratch I might add. Sorry folks, I can’t share that recipe. It’s too good and too sacred. (LOL) Today, Kimoni and I simply vegged out on the couch and watched movies while he waited for his PS4 to update. Yes, the kid still got gifts. But I didn’t wrap them, does that account for something?
It’s crazy though that now that he’s off in his room doing him, I sit at my desk listening to music feeling myself get sadder and sadder by the minute. So much so that I’ve turned it off and am about to go in my own room and lay down for a bit. I think I’m sad because the one person who I expected to call today, didn’t. And a conversation I had last night with a friend about entertaining people who are not right for me is resonating hard. We have to stop giving so much time, energy and expectation to people who converse with you only when it’s convenient for them. It’s so heartbreaking. But who do we blame, them for doing it or ourselves for allowing it?