God gave you what you could handle. I got the grip like the handle and I’m biking…solo.
I actually managed to have a productive weekend. Despite feeling frayed and confused right now. I spent some time with my son Saturday shopping for sneakers. Not as simple as it sounds considering that Kimoni is 15 and wears a size 13 shoe. We ended up visiting 4 shoe stores before he finally found some Adidas classic’s that he really liked, and that didn’t make his feet look huge. I even ended up buying my first pair are extremely expensive, yet comfortable Adidas. It’s kind of liberating spending money you earned when all of your bills are paid.
Additionally, I ended up getting 2 tattoos Saturday night: a bed of roses on my right arm (half sleeve) and a K on my chest. It was for Kimoni who’s name I didn’t want written out on my body, I have had enough names. So I opted for the simplicity of the K.
Now I sit here at 6:00am, just got off work, and I am more than ready to get in my bed. But I had to let this go before I end my day. All night I’ve been super agitated. For no apparent reason other than I’m completely tired of biking solo every weekend. I had so much I wanted to talk about today and nobody to talk to. Before I knew it I became frustrated and found myself on the verge of tears. I’m so afraid that this is it. That all my life will ever consist of is me working, taking care of Kimoni and sleeping. I want so much more. I NEED so much more. And most evident, I need someone to share it with. It’s been over a year since someone other than a relative told me they loved me. That’s not a good feeling when you’re an emotional unstable creature. I crave love & companionship, the way that Winnie the Pooh craves honey. (That’s serious ain’t it?)
I’m really tired of biking solo…I need a rider.